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fun that, pump that --
pump that is a perfectly acceptable phrase.
fanfiction. 
1st-Jun-2006 09:04 am
Title: When Man Realizes His Love For Local Young Boy That Goes To His School: 사 랑 해...
Rating: NC-17, for very graphical sex.
Pairings: JaeHo, YooSu, and some Changmin x food.
Genre: PWP, romance, angst.
Summary: Like the sand through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.









Jae was in his locked room. Angsting away his life by listening to Evanescence, and doing manly sobbing into a pillow. Thinking about his unrequited love: Yunho. How could someone so handsome like Yunho love someone as small and dumb, and pettish and pretty as poor Jaejoong? Jaejoong looked at the lovenotes he had written up for Yunho before he went to sleep.



The next day, Yunho was at school with all his other jock-like friends, and having a fun time. Because he was just the center of attention, save for Yoochun who was the attention spot for all the ladies. And giving out tips for how to bang them to his posse.



Jaejoong entered the cafeteria, and made a subconscious beeline for Yunho. Bumping roughly into him, causing them both to fall down on the ground. Yunho quickly gets pissed as Jaejoong begs for forgiveness before he runs off to the little girls boys room, angsting away for the entire five periods.



Little did he know that the bump had caused the love notes to fly into Yunho's napsack, and that he was currently reading through them. With great interest, without showing emotion.



Days passed as Changmin was stuffing his face full of food, and spraying it all over Junsu who shrieked at his lack of manners. Which in turn caused Yoochun to fall in love with Junsu. And have hot gay, virgin, mansex with him behind the dumpster of the school. A love confession escaping from them both after their cherries had been popped like One Night in Paris.



Five minutes later, Yunho confronted Jae by his locker and dragged him to the side in a quiet hall. Because the place is suddenly deserted. Jaejoong is mumbling - stuttering - all too nervous to look into the eyes of his biggest love interest for 15 years. Yunho makes Jaejoong look into his eyes, and spills out his confession of reading the letters and suddenly realizing he's gay as well. And then he grabs Jaejoong close to his body and gives him a passionate kiss as they both bawl their eyes out. After having bickered about not deserving one another, and that they both should die because it's impossible for unrequited loves to actually become requited.



They, too, have hot gay buttsex. Virginal STD style like professionals.






----------






~~*~~The End~~*~~.















Yeah, I totally wrote this up in an IM window to des_akazim. Scroll bitches.























































Comments 
1st-Jun-2006 12:16 am (UTC)
You know how season finales summarize things up? That's how I saw this. :p
And hold on... you + jaeho + yoosu + alone min?? wow.
1st-Jun-2006 12:30 am (UTC)
Oh yes. I'm now a full fledged YunJae OTP kinda guy. Look at, uh, my nonexistant icons.
1st-Jun-2006 12:21 am (UTC)
ROFL
So many lines killed me.
1st-Jun-2006 12:31 am (UTC)
Stay tuned for part two. Jaejoong cheats on Yunho with Yoochun!
1st-Jun-2006 12:26 am (UTC)
I COULD'VE BEEN THE FIRST TO BUG YOU BUT.....gad jeex.


this was so beautiful! it could be published!!!
1st-Jun-2006 12:32 am (UTC)
BUT YOU GOT BIT BY THE BUG.



Don't you think? Soon I'll will the Pull Itzers!
1st-Jun-2006 12:50 am (UTC)
O.M.G. *is dead*
I want to quote many parts but that would make this comment a little too long.
I loved it LOL
They, too, have hot gay buttsex. Virginal STD style like professionals.
KKKKKKAKA.
1st-Jun-2006 01:05 am (UTC)
You know Yunho is hot with chlamydia. Come on, let's spread it!
1st-Jun-2006 12:55 am (UTC)
Is it wrong for me to love this so much? ♥♥♥!! 8DDDD;;

A love confession escaping from them both after their cherries had been popped like One Night in Paris.
OH NO THEY DIDN'T. >8D

If life was as coincidental as these guys...
then I would have probably shot myself. ♥
1st-Jun-2006 01:07 am (UTC)
"Let me bump into you and give you my lovely manly lumps", Yunho declared as they jiggled in a merry way.
1st-Jun-2006 01:01 am (UTC)
omg. 8DDD What in the name of ... holy moly.
jaeho, yoosu, minfood = the best pairings in the world all rolled up in a package of crackinfested dbsksextasticism. mmmm♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
And have hot gay, virgin, mansex with him behind the dumpster of the school. A love confession escaping from them both after their cherries had been popped like One Night in Paris.
That just...omg. *dies*

They, too, have hot gay buttsex. Virginal STD style like professionals.
*snorts and dies*

1st-Jun-2006 01:08 am (UTC)
I think I just died a little inside.
1st-Jun-2006 01:24 am (UTC)
I am torn between telling you how beautiful this was and how many times I died while reading it. WAY GO TO 8DDD
1st-Jun-2006 01:43 am (UTC)
And I'm torn between as to whether or not you're serious.
1st-Jun-2006 01:28 am (UTC)
i love the overall mood and tone, and how easy the story was to digest. :O) There are so many awesome sentences and images, but i love these the most:

And have hot gay, virgin, mansex with him behind the dumpster of the school. A love confession escaping from them both after their cherries had been popped like One Night in Paris.

*gasp* you just said you're a YunJae OTP kind of a guy....wooohoooo.....

1st-Jun-2006 01:45 am (UTC)
I suggest you take a gander as to where you're currently located. (;


The YunJae comment was said in a gest of satire. Because most of the words issued in comments are pertaining of that nature. Wink.
1st-Jun-2006 01:53 am (UTC)
Large spaces & asterisks & squiggly lines surrounding the "The End" scares me beyond belief.

Oh and the fic? That's another thing all on its own. -dies on you-

1st-Jun-2006 11:30 am (UTC)
~~~~~~~*~*~~~~ @;--- ~~~*~*~~~~~~
1st-Jun-2006 02:13 am (UTC)
I love the way you mocked the typical JaeHo YooSu MinFood story. <3
1st-Jun-2006 11:31 am (UTC)
You get special points for being the first to realize this.
1st-Jun-2006 04:50 am (UTC)
oh man this is so funny. I'm guilty of reading such mindless fanfics.

jAeHO 4ever~!~!~

Ok. I'm sorry for that eruption of fangirl moment. xP
1st-Jun-2006 11:32 am (UTC)
Sadly, if it as Ski in it. I'll just read it, but I won't ever reccomend the artist.
1st-Jun-2006 05:43 am (UTC)
oh boyy. i think i've gotta thank your mother for drenching your pancakes w. syrup.
scratch that. i've just realized you posted this half an hour ago.

i think i love you.

<3 tiffo
1st-Jun-2006 11:34 am (UTC)
That has to be the oddest analogy I've ever heard. Or maybe I'm just not fly with the teen chat of today.


Oh, unrequited love how you hurt.
1st-Jun-2006 02:41 pm (UTC)
oh god this is so sad. i love all the metaphors and descriptions and how jaejoong expresses his sadness by listening to sad music. the sex was so hot. really. and ah the confessions made me cry. plZwritemorekthxbye...






guh...8D


it's evil, oh so evil, but we deserve it. XD
1st-Jun-2006 03:30 pm (UTC)
OH NOES. Now (my) comments are being mocked. Ah, give me death. xD
1st-Jun-2006 06:24 pm (UTC)
\e_e/ go JaeHo.

I love you XDDDDDDD
2nd-Jun-2006 07:50 am (UTC)
Let's throw our pom poms up for ChunJae, too!

2nd-Jun-2006 01:11 am (UTC)
*waves jaeho and yoosu flags as well* ¦D
and spraying it all over Junsu
HAHA FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE *FLAILS*
i love mockeries, especially of things i love. so yeah. here. *dumps a bag of luff all over you* 8D;
2nd-Jun-2006 07:51 am (UTC)
Mocking is a way of life. Buckle up and hold tight for your satirical doom.
19th-Dec-2006 05:43 am (UTC)
. . .

Read this once. Couple months ago. When I first got to the fandom.

Read this again. Just now. And much, much more appreciative of the whole thing. This was like. The mother of all stereotype DBSK pairings.

Only mocked. And in a lovely way, too :')

Awesome job.
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